Oh my…. what a long time it’s been since my last post! I feel ashamed and guilty, but I had so much going on and I wasn’t in the best shape at times to write a post. and on the other hand, to be very honest, I didn’t want to write anything about my pregnancy, because of the fear that something could still go wrong. so first of all, my deepest apologies for the long silence on my blog.
My last post dates from March 2020, just at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic and wow… did we know how our lives would change over the course of this year. I guess this is valid for every human being on the planet… we all could not have expected 2020 to turn out the way it did! For my husband and me, the beginning of Corona meant that we had to postpone our IVF treatment… which of course we were not happy about, since the plan was that after my second endo surgery in January, we would try to have our one-and-only frozen embryo implanted as soon as we could after the surgery to have the biggest possible chance for a positive outcome. If you have read my blog in the past, you might remember that I started with the endometriosis diet in the beginning of 2020. Partly, this was also to make sure our success rates for IVF would be maximized. So when in February 2020, our IVF clinic had to close down, we were a bit disappointed, but we had to be a little bit more patient. I phoned the clinic on a weekly basis to get updates on when they would be able to plan the embryo transfer again and I still remember getting the phone call in the first week of April. I burst out in tears when they confirmed the embryo transfer for April 30th!
Unfortunately, my husband couldn’t come with me to the procedure itself, because of the strict Corona measures, but we were so happy we could finally go through with it, that we soon forgot about this little detail and we started getting mentally ready. For me, getting ready meant: continue eating healthy, drinking less to no alcohol, positive thinking, light exercising… the things I already started doing before, but as soon as the date for the embryo transfer was set, there seemed to be an extra motivation to hold on to this healthy lifestyle.
The embryo transfer itself was just incredible… I was just utterly in love with science and with that small minuscule bundle of cells laying there in the lab, before I could watch the process of inserting it into my uterus through a microscope, on a big screen in the room. I was even in love with the doctor (a lady) who performed the transfer. 😁 I really feel that the embryo transfer was a very positive experience and for me, the start of a new era. Besides the fact that my husband couldn’t be present at the procedure and the doctor and me were wearing masks, I think that Corona also played a positive role in the IVF process for us, since I was in complete home office and never had to stress to get back to the office and I didn’t have to make up excuses on why I was out for a couple of hours, during the procedure itself and afterwards for the weekly check ups. Our social life as well couldn’t cause much distractions, since restaurants, bars, festivals… everything was on a standstill and we were just relaxing at home after the transfer, trying not to worry too much… but still very aware of the fact we would be getting some positive or negative news in the next couple of days…
2 weeks later, the moment of truth: the first check up in the IVF clinic to find out whether the embryo had implanted itself correctly in the uterus and whether the pregnancy hormone is at the correct level. Even if I had a slight positive feeling, because I had sore breasts, I went in the doctors office feeling completely nervous and anxious. The moment when the doctor does the vaginal ultrasound and points at the little black dot in the uterus is just priceless!! When later, also the blood results came back and confirmed that the hormone levels are looking good, I was feeling like a little kid who just received a pony, a puppy and endless free entrance to an amusement park all together. I was sooooo happy and I remember my tears were rolling over my face and my face mask was soaking wet, when I left the clinic. I was finally pregnant. I had waited for that moment for the past 3 years and it felt as if my husband and I could finally breathe freely again. In that moment, I could see myself doing the dozens of pregnancy tests, crying over another negative one or laying on the couch with endless endo pains. Finally it was my time! Of course the first weeks and months of the pregnancy were still quite unsure, as so many things can go wrong, but we were both confident and we tried not to worry as much and believe in the process and in the fact that my body would to the necessary to keep that little black dot alive and make it grow. We loved it from the very first time we saw it. See blog picture – isn’t it just the cutest little black dot you have ever seen??? 😆
I promise to write a next blog post soon about my experience on being pregnant in Corona times… I am now 28 weeks pregnant and just entered the last trimester. To be continued … 😉